Thursday, March 24, 2011

Blew It Again, Sam!

Well, nothing like starting the day off wrong! Today, my baby, who happens to be 7 years old, woke up excited to wear a new outfit. A new/old outfit that is. Our friend, who is a great blessing, brings us all her girls' hand me downs, and I give her mine from my big girls. We do a lot of beautiful sharing, and since her girls are first grandchildren, we get some amazing goodies. Today, Layne intended to wear a pair of polka-dotted sneakers that came in our last load, which incidentally, had not been put away yet (don't tell!). What came next reveals how little I've truly learned in 18 years of parenting. Let's just say God isn't done with me yet!

When I describe Layni, I say she has "I" for initiative. I don't believe I've ever seen a small child with more! I literally cannot out-think her. The merest hint of a suggestion on my part sends her running ahead to accomplish some feat without a second thought. If we could siphon some off and sell it, we'd be rich, as the old saying goes.
A great part of the time she gets "in trouble," it is because I am exasperated that she's gotten ahead of me again, beginning some project I'm not yet ready to tackle. It is a cycle we live and re-live continually. I don't enjoy messes, and she creates them by the dozen. I like to observe and ponder, she likes to touch and explore. To say she stretches me is quite an understatement.

Fresh out of bed, she breezed into my room this morning, holding a set of shoelaces in her hand, asking if she could put them in her new, laceless sneakers, making them ready-to-wear today. I immediately knew they'd come from her one and only set of adorable pink and navy plaid tennis shoes~ my favorites! She wanted to use them in a pair of second-hand brown sneakers probably to be used only as "grubbies." You can already see where I'm going with this. My sinful, ugly heart made itself plain by planting a frown on my face, and I proceeded to snap at my baby. "No, I told you we would buy laces for those. You pulled those out of your good sneakers, didn't you?" Poor child, she was appropriately shamed, and headed back to her bedroom to try to remedy the situation.

Repenting again. My children know the drill. "Mommy is the one who did something wrong here, not you. Please forgive me. I'm still learning. You are still learning too. I love you."
Are shoelaces worth more than a little girl's spirit? I think not. I just wish I could 'think not' before I open my mouth. We had a good hug, she had a good cry, and she forgave me. In all this, my prayer is that she will learn to repent quickly when she blows it. I certainly model the fact that it's a frequent occurrence in a mommy's life. This mommy anyway.

I guess beginning the day repenting is not such a bad thing. After all, dependence on Him is the best foundation on which to build a life. I certainly must depend on Christ to be the parent I want to be to this precious gift of a daughter!

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